If you’ve ever read even one of my blogs, you would know that there is nothing I dread more than a good old fashioned baby shower. Hate to hate, but they are basically just awkward social conventions that occur way too early in the morning, where you know 5% of the females in the room and your present is the most shittily wrapped gift in the room, not to mention the only gift wrapped with the generic/basically transparent Babies R Us complimentary wrapping paper – okay, maybe that’s just me. Thank God for alcohol, but even ol’ trusty is a grey area because you never know how many mimosas are too many mimosas, or worse – when a shower is DRY (I choked typing that word). And the incentive? Luke warm scrambled eggs and fatty bacon. Maybe a scone.
I’ll stop here with the hating because I’ve gone there before when it comes to shower bashing, but today I’ve changed my tune. Today I went to a Jack & Jill baby shower and I swear, shit was a game changer. It was my first Jack & Jill anything and it was bad ass as far as showers go. It started at noon, took place in a restaurant/bar setting, served a buffet that included carbs and steaks, had ESPN on, and was topped of with an open bar. It was nothing short of a miracle. Of course most men would be opposed to the idea of a Jack & Jill anything but who would turn down a red meat lunch and free beers? Just had to give credit where credit is due, and I am officially team Jack and Jill for all showers. I hope this doesn’t make anyone question if I’m a feminist or not. I “don’t mind” being in an estrogen only filled room at an ungodly hour on a weekend, but I’m also all about equality, especially because when men are thrown into a female dominated event, they decrease the meaningless small talk and add to the talk of whether or not a midget is going to pop out of the biggest box the couple unwraps. They also add that competitive edge when it comes to shower games: Note: when playing a game of Baby Bingo, don’t choose a crib as one of your squares. Most of the time the crib is bought by parents or a really close relative, and is already sitting in the nursery by the time the shower is taking place. Cribs fucked me all up and made me a B-I-N-G-O L-O-S-E-R.
Jack & Jill showers or go home.