Being a girl in my late 20’s I am pretty much an expert at being a girl in her 20’s. And due to society’s unrealistic expectations of what women in their 20’s should look like to look “good”, one of the recurrent themes in a woman’s 20’s is the topic of fat. No one wants to be fat. Fat fat fat. Fat. It’s really important to not be fat. My friends and I can have rather silly hour-long discussions over drinks about fat prevention. We laugh as we talk about partaking in fat behavior. “Oh my God, I was so fucking fat this weekend. I ate late night Wendy’s and drank like 15 beers and skipped the gym.” “Blah, blah, blah juice cleanse, blah, blah, blah, kale, blah blah blah spin class”. We talk about what we are doing to stop being so fat – mind you the median weight of all my friends collectively is probably about 130 pounds. (Many) Women are fixated on fat.
What even is fat? Some might say it’s when you have a double chin. Or when you are a double digit pants size. Or when you eat buffalo chicken in bed. Or when you are on a Hover Round because you can no longer walk…because you are so fat. I think that the definition of fat has gotten much stricter. These days, and not according to me, if you don’t have a thigh gap, you’re fat. It’s pretty fucking crazy because I do not consider myself to be “fat”, but I haven’t had a thigh gap since I was 12ish. It’s just not feasible for me, a person who has actually been told she has chicken legs, to have a thigh gap. I’m sure there are naturally skinny people out there who have natural thigh gaps, also known as “bitches” (jk lol?), but I would have to eat only celery and water for a month to accomplish this. Even then, I’d probably actually just die. Yeah, no, I would absolutely die.
The obsessing over fat is exhausting. I’m willing to bet a lot of girls in their 20’s don’t even realize they’re doing it. If you’ve partaken in any of the following behaviors, which are taken from real life conversations I have both been a participant in or listened to, you probably can relate to what I’m talking about when I refer to the pressure not to be fat:
The Side Profile Selfie: Extending your arm out to your side while looking dead straight ahead and snapping a selfie. Just to see if you have a double chin. Then getting disgusted followed by deleting really quickly. QUICKER!
Double Chin Up’s: Exercising your chin by nodding repeatedly.
Drunkorexia: Saving your daily calories up for the evening calories you know you will consume from drinking.
Thinsperation: Taping pictures of fitness models or Victoria’s Secret Angels on your fridge, to remind yourself not to be so fucking fat. Because people who are models who are not fat exist in the world. Look at them!
Hoarders Diet: Watching an episode of Hoarders to curb your appetite.
ADHD Fake-out: Taking Adderall to curb your appetite.
Facelift Filter: Cocking your head to your “good side” and posing your chin upward when having a picture taken.
Apple Cider Vinegar Shots: This is exactly what it sounds like: a shot of apple cider vinegar. It speeds up the metabolism and tastes like 75 year old apple juice. And I can’t say this with any scientific proof to back it up, but it does nothing. There is a similar version of this involving cayenne pepper and water. Drink it every morning for best non-results.
IPhone Mirror: Making someone take a full length picture of you in 12 outfits you try on while getting ready to see if you look fat or not, before opting to go with the all black one.
Duckface with Bad Intentions: Duckface, not to be funny or topical, but to enhance your cheekbones and decrease cheek fat.
Spanking Out: Not going out because your spanks are in the wash.
Fatting Out: Not going out because you are fat.
Hilarious? Sad? Borderline disorder?
Just the world we live in!