Last November I became a (puppy) mom for the first time. I went to East Bum Massachusetts and met my fur baby and it was love at first sight. Me and Dilly do everything together: sit, enjoy food, lay on the couch, get irrationally mad at petty things, walk to nowhere in particular in scenic areas, stay hydrated with water, lay on the bed, wish for food, get agitated when strangers talk to us, pee too much, get irrationally happy at petty things, etc. I love Dilly so much that I always felt really guilty when I left her home alone. I would leave the TV on Animal Planet, but does Dilly even give a fuck about Big Cat Diary? I would ask her, but there is a language barrier. You see, Dilly is a dog and I am a human (although my enemies may call that debatable). Regardless, I felt badly for my lonely pup, which is why my husband and I decided a few weeks ago to go back to East Bum, MA and get Dilly a brother (or as we call them in our puppy talky house, “brudder”, AKA: “Dilly that’s your brudder!“). Dilly now has some company.
There are many positive adjectives I would use to describe Bear, but the one most frequently used is “the shit!”. He likes to do most of the same things me and Dilly enjoy, except he sometimes humps the air and can eat more without getting that fat (right now). So far, Bear is pretty cool and Dilly agrees that he is pretty cool. Sometimes there is some sibling rivalry that manifests in the form of a stare-down duel at dawn:
But usually, Dilly and Bear are buds.
Having dogs has made me realize a lot of shit about life. What is this shit I have learned? – you might not be asking.
People are overwhelming. Get out of my face. Who are you and why would anyone want to walk with a stranger and their dog for over 1 mile just because they have dog ownership and walking their dog in common? We came to this park to party…with each other. Not you. Ask us our breed, let us pet your dog because he’s cool (er than you) and keep walking.
People who don’t like dogs are evil in it’s purest form. Oh, you hate total loyalty, unconditional love, and wagging tails? Oh yeah that’s right, you’re Lucifer.
Children are annoying. “You’re dog nipped me!” -a child. No, you just punched my dog in the face because your a sociopath and my dog responded to getting punched in the face.
No one will ever give a shit about you the way your dog gives a shit about you. You walk in the door, with nothing to offer except maybe the same old bland dog food and some scratchies behind the ears. Doesn’t matter: you are the coolest. No one will ever match that excitement when it comes to being in your presence.
Yes, puppy mom-hood is life.