Okay girls, this is going to be a tough one for me emotionally. But sometimes you have to demean/make fun of yourself in order to a make a blog entry stereotyping yourself and your Quincy sisterhood. So I’m going to make fun of Quincy girls before a Quincy boy who feels wronged does it for me. Please remember that these are stereotypes, don’t let them define you my Quincy sisters. Unless you are responsible for the stereotypes, in which case, you’ve done it to yourself. I can say “Guilty” to some of these, be honest with yourself, are you guilty? Anyways, I love you all and I’m sorry.
- We won’t let go of Uggs: As Polo hats are to individuality with Quincy boys, Uggs are to uniqueness with Quincy girls. Oh, all of your friends have the tall black Uggs? Maybe you should go with the short chestnuts. Yeah, you will really stand out in those. Especially if you tuck your sweatpants into them. Fabulous. These sheepskin boots used to take out the trash in their homeland of Australia will never go out of style. And what would look great with your Uggs? You guessed it…
- Coach bags: How awesome do those beat up Uggs look with your brand new coach bag?! You earned that bag working a double at the baahh, girlfriend! Now go show it off in Downtown Quincy! I bet you can’t wait for the matching wallet. You must be a descendent of Wollaston Hill. Maybe we can donate our old pocketbooks to the poor girls at Quincy T station who have knock off Coach bags.
- Cubic Zirconia’s: Who said these were just for Quincy boys? You love them, too! You are such a fashionista. Plus they are on sale at Forever21…a 6 pack for $10. Who cares if the line is out the door and the music makes you want to rip your eyeballs out, it’s such a steal! CZ’s are a girl’s best friend. Is that how the saying goes? Just remember to take them out before you fight, you don’t want to lose them/have your earlobes ripped out.
- Coffee Break Cafe 3 times in 1 day: Are you feeling parched from staying out all night binge drinking? What you need, is a medium iced German Coffee Cake, if you’re under the age of 18, make that with extra cream extra sugar. If we can’t stop here before class to gossip, I might kill myself. And if security takes our coffees while we are signing ourselves in late to school, I’ll throw some F bombs under my breath.
- Hot cups: If we don’t have time to wait in line at CBC, then we might as well just get Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s better than nothing. Unless you forget the hot cup for my iced coffee, in which case nothing is better, because having a cold hand sucks.
- Marshall’s/TJMaxx Diehards: Shit, it’s one of your closest acquaintance’s 24th birthday! She will never forgive you if you don’t show your face at Howl at the Moon tonight. But you don’t have anything that fits after scarfing down junior bacon cheeseburgers and beers all summer. Better hop in your vehicle and hit up Marshall’s. If they don’t have any good finds, you could always get back on Newport Ave and head South toward TJMaxx. Yeah, I know it’s more ghetto than Marshall’s, but at least you’re not at AJWright. Calm down, you’ll find something. Ugh, even preparing to leave Quincy is stressful. We’re going to have to pregame with bottles of Skinny Girl to get this show on the road.
- Deplorable/trashy Boston accents: The above picture is a car being parked in Harvard Yard. Obviously. Quincy girls have some of the most trashtastic Boston accents. At least I do, I don’t want to speak for you all. But it’s something I’m wicked proud of…ehh..kind of, not really.
- Bar Flies: We’ve seen this happen to women our mom’s age and vow it will never happen to us. But it scares us that we are at local bars on week nights way more than we should be. Screw it, just add the word “Funday” after the name of the weekday and it becomes perfectly acceptable, right?…RIGHT?! Oh the Bruins are on? I don’t typically go out on work nights more than 4 times a week, and I don’t even watch hockey, but this game is completely a reason to celebrate at a local dive bar. Maybe my girlfriends will meet their future husbands there, since a bar is the best place for a Quincy girl to meet Prince Charming.
- North Face jackets: Gap sweatshirts aren’t in style anymore, might as well just buy this shit. It’s not really that warm, but we blend in with the Quincy lifestyle, I guess.
- Marlboro Lights (Mahhb Lights): Let me bum a Mahb light in the girl’s bathroom, khed. No thanks, I don’t smoke, but I’ll come inhale second hand smoke and listen to the gossip. Remember to read what some wise broad wrote in Sharpie on the bathroom wall and yell out, “It’s okay!” so we know the coast is clear.
- Powder Puff: Let’s pretend we are playing a game of football and just drink and fist fight girls from the opposing high school who tried to steal our boyfriends. And let’s make sure to do it in the rain in front of every Quincy boy in the city. We might have to switch to a different field 10 times to avoid the Quincy police, but screw it. Don’t forget to have some Natural Ice waiting for us on the sidelines. It’s not like we are happy to get our Uggs filthy. Thanks.
Let’s be real ladies, you’re guilty of at least half. Sorry if I’ve offended you, but remember I am right there with you. At least I left out the part about running into girls you knew in high school at bars and noticing how much skinnier they are, only to discover they are on the stimulant diet. Please don’t punch me in the head if you see me in Downtown Quincy next weekend. Instead you can buy me a draft, light beer (it’s the only diet I can stick with). Always remember: Quincy is not just a city, it’s a lifestyle. I guess…
*Special thanks to A.S. & my Twitter/FB page followers.