I’ve always wondered what it is about Hello Kitty that is so appealing. At first this simply drawn kitty was popular among Asian girls. But then, Hello Kitty became popular with every girl, every age, all over the place. I don’t get it, but I love her, too. I bought myself some Hello Kitty bed sheets and was so into them, that when I showed my niece, and she thought they were for her, I refused to give them up! My niece is 6! Hello Kitty has turned me into a monster! When I think about it, it’s fucking stupid. It’s just a circle, with ears, more circles for the facial features, some lines for whiskers, and a bow. The thing doesn’t even have a mouth! And Hello Kitty isn’t just a face seen on pens, pencils, stationary, or coloring books. Hello Kitty is on EVERYTHING. Take a look: And check out this cake I made for my best friend (I’m so proud): …Like, what?! Why do people want Hello Kitty chainsaws, guns, motor oil, tampons, rosary beads, campers, crockpots, and wedding dresses? Aw, she’s so cute! Let’s hit up the shooting range with our HK Uzi and pray to the HK Gods with our HK rosary beads that we don’t shoot ourselves in the fucking foot. Whoever invented this simple kindergarten level drawing of this kitty cat must be as rich as Oprah. It’s frustrating because I feel like I could come up with a better design that is so much more adorable than Hello Kitty. Check out some of my ideas, but please, don’t steal them (they took all of 30 seconds to draw on paintbrush). Introducing: Hello PigeonHello EmuHello Drunk SlobHello CarlHello AlgaeHello AmoebaHello Rabid Dog
Pretty good ideas, right? Now, if you guys could just help me out by printing these sketches out and taping them to random shit. It’s at a grassroots level now, but if YOU would just spread my Hello Creatures to Quincy/the world, then who knows, maybe one day you’ll see Hello Amoeba on a tape dispenser, or condom wrapper. They are just TOO cute.