Everyone who has children, lives with a child, or babysits a child has probably heard of Caillou, and probably cringes at the sound of the show’s theme song. For those of you who do not know who Caillou is, he is a bald headed, 4 year old little bastard with no respect for authority or the rules. Caillou’s voice will go right through you. His mom and dad are the biggest pushovers to ever be drawn, who have never learned the word “no”, and who I assume are on an assortment of pharmaceuticals. God forbid if the writer’s of the show ever add drug addiction into the storyline when Caillou gets older, because his parents are the epitome of enabling. Caillou also has a little sister, Rosie, who is not much better than Caillou, but we can excuse her by saying she’s in the terrible two’s. Caillou does not like to share with Rosie, his besty Leo, or any one else. He lacks empathy and is the most selfish animated child I’ve laid eyes on since Angelica Pickles.
Why is the background of Caillou’s world all white? Are the creator’s of Caillou racist or just plain lazy? They probably use the white background to symbolize Caillou’s shitty moods. Maybe the sky is overcast before God hates Caillou. Or maybe Caillou’s world is white because he is in purgatory doing a terrible job of repenting his sins. Caillou tantrums in literally every single episode. And the elderly female narrator is sure to let you know what caused his tantrum: “Caillou did not want to go to the supermarket. Caillou was angry.” Well guess what, buddy? Life is full of disappointments and shit you don’t want to do. But you get out of bed in the morning, do what you have to do, and you shut the fuck up, because no one cares about your misfortunes in life. I understand that 4 year old’s are going to throw tantrums, but this kid has some serious behavioral issues that need to be addressed with some therapy or meds. He is setting himself up for a swirly or maybe even in awful waffle or 5 in junior high. Man up Caillou. Before Donkey Lips and Budnick make you man up.
Don’t talk shit to me about talking shit about a 4 year old cartoon character from PBS…or else…Awful waffle! Awful waffle! Awful waffle!