Scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this past weekend raised some real concerns for me. The Facebook newsfeed raising concerns is nothing new, happens every day, but what I’ve been seeing is just pure ignorance. I keep seeing afternoon statuses that say things like, “Anyone in the mood for Peggy’s later?“, “Think I’m feeling Peggy’s tonight…“, and, “Peggy’s tonight!“. So I just have to say:
YOU DO NOT MAKE PLANS TO GO TO PEGGY’S DURING THE AFTERNOON, EARLY EVENING, OR ANY TIME BEFORE 11PM AT THE EARLIEST, BUT EVEN 11PM IS EARLY TO PLAN FOR PEGGY’S.
Glad that’s out of my system. It’s like Saturday at 6pm and I see all this crazies talking about going to Peggy’s as if it were going to be a casual night playing Taboo with a couple close buddies. And honestly, who is ever in “the mood” for Peggy’s unless it’s quarter of 1 in the morning and they are way more than half in the bag and looking for some coke to sniff off the back of toilet? It makes me insane. The only acceptable statuses involving Peggy’s are those with more than 3 typos that are put up after midnight, and those that are expressing deep regret the next morning. For example, “Woke up with a JBC wrapper on my cheek and the stench of Peggy in my hair and a new outlook on my status in life. Heading to the kitchen to stick my head in the oven.” Anything else is just completely unacceptable.
Don’t get it twisted, I’m not a snob about where I spend my time…I don’t have the classiest track record when it comes to where I am on a Saturday night. But I firmly refused to cross the Neponset River Bridge after last call unless I was heading South. I just don’t think that anything good happens after last call. I want to go to bed and not feel regret the second I open my eyes. But I finally gave in to Peggy’s a few months ago after my friends nagging me that I had to if I ever wanted to shit on it in a blog. So for the sake of research, I made my poor boyfriend, who was dead sober, drive us over the bridge. First of all, no one EVER remembers how to get to this fucking place no matter how many times they’ve been there before. Everyone in the car just screams that they know a shortcut, perhaps because they want Dorchester street cred. But really the only thing these shortcuts prove are poor decision making/alcoholism. I can accomplish those things without leading anyone crazy ways to a dive bar on Dorchester Avenue. The whole situation needs the condescending Wonka Meme treatment, “You know more than 1 way to get to Dot. Ave? You must be so hood!”. Dot. Ave is the main street in Dorchester, most side streets lead you there one way or another. So relax about it.
Anyways, I get to the place and have to wait in a fucking line. Pretty bullshit already. I get in the door and you know the people you JUST saw in South Shore bars that you didn’t want to see? They are all there, but they are drunker/sniffly. And some of them are dancing. And some of them are smoking butts out back on a 5 by 5 patio. And you get this dreadful feeling that something bad might happen if you go to the bathroom. And besides the number 2 at McDonald’s you wait for in an insanely long line, that about sums it up.
I’ll stop there. Because that’s really all there is to say. Just please, have a little more class and stop making everyone know that your venue of choice is a last call bar for everyone else. Would you dead seriously check in to the Ups N Downs with an attached picture of yourself playing Big Buck Hunter and expect everyone to ask how long you’ll be there? You know what? Don’t even answer that.
Disclaimer: This is all my opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Per usual.