Happy 420. Hopefully you’re stoned as you read this. In recent news Brad Pitt proposed to Angelina Jolie with a $500,000 engagement ring. A little obnoxious if you ask me. But I feel like everything about Brangelina is obnoxious. I don’t even hate Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie separately. But together, they are an annoying force of philanthropy that are going to have the most outlandish nuptials in the history of history. The ceremony is probably going to consist of gospel singing tribesmen, Julia Roberts as the pastor, gay guys singing acepella as Angie walks down the aisle with a pissed off looking Jon Voight watching on from the audience, Shiloh dressed in a suit as the ring bearer, and Maddox playing a wind instrument no one has ever heard of or seen. They will probably give away Cambodian babies as wedding shower gifts and perform weird rituals and make out with their brothers during the reception. It’ll be more puke-inducing than Kim Kardashian’s wedding. So I’d like to say a big FUCK YOU to Brangelina’s wedding. You eccentric, baby poppin’/adoptin’ fucks. I hope someone gets you a blender from Willams Sonoma. Maybe that will snap you back to reality.
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