About these ads
Archive | June, 2012

Are YOU Ripping White Trash? Take This Quiz To Find Out!

28 Jun

When you are busy judging people for being ripping white trash, do you ever stop for a second to ask yourself if YOU are ripping white trash? Me neither. But take this quiz anyways because, fuck it…maybe you’re white trash and didn’t have a clue. And I’m not talking about the obviously trashy things that trashy people do, like have sexual relations with their cousin. I’m talking about a collective amount of small things that add up to being trashy. Remember, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. If you are are someone who is preaching against white trash, and you are white trash…well, people are just going to think you’re not only poor, but also stupid. Okay, here we go:

1. Are you white? (If not, please take my future quiz “Are YOU Ghetto? Take This Quiz To Find Out!”. if yes, proceed to question 2!!!

2. Do you own a Metro PCS phone and enjoy taking pictures of your children doing mediocre things and uploading them to Facebook?

A) Why yes, I love my Metro PCS phone, in fact, I got a discount on it at the cart at the mall for getting freaky with this guy Jamal who works there!

B) Yeah, I have one but this shit sucks almost as bad as being poor.

C) Absolutely not.

3. Do you ask people to exchange food stamps for money on your Facebook statuses? 

A) Yes, how else can I buy booze for me and my family?

B) No, I ask to exchange food stamps for DRUGS. Get it right.

C) No, that’s trashy.

4. Do you find yourself sympathizing with some of the guests on Maury?

A) Hell yeah, we all been there! Like the time my sista was fuckin’ my husband while I was on vacation in Hull! Fuckin’ skank HOE…

B) Sometimes, it’s not like you can help being born into white trash.

C) No, those people are the scum of the earth and should be annihilated.

5. Is your grandma under the age of 40?

A) Yes, that bitch is MAD old.

B) Yeah, shamefully.

C) No, that would mean my mom was like 12 when she got pregnant.

6. Are you unable to afford curtains or drapes?

A) Shit’s expensive, I use beach towels instead a’ that shit! It look reaaaal nice!

B) I can’t afford them, but I’m saving up.

C) What the fuck?

7. What would you do if your boyfriend took you to The Olive Garden for your first date?

A) Marry that man!

B) Eat in silence.

C) Excuse myself to the bathroom and never look back.

8) You need money QUICK. How do you plan to get it?

A) Seek a job in the gay adult film industry.

B) Sell meth.

C) Get a job that is legal and go to work to earn your money.

9. Have you ever done drugs with your mom or dad? 

A) My parents sell me my drugs.

B) Yeah, with my grandma, too. She’s young at heart. Especially around the holiday season.

C) No.

10. What is your favorite among the following sports?

A) Nascar. Hands down.

B) A tie between basketball and horseshoes.

C) Golf

11. Do you frequently say the N word, even though you are white? 

A) Fuck yeah, if them people can say it, so can I! I also talk in ebonics even though I live in the poor section of the suburbs! Fuck it!

B) Sometimes, by accident. And sometimes I get drunk and say it on the internet.

C) No, not even Gwyneth Paltrow could get with that. Just wrong.

12. How many times have you been in the Patriot ledger?

A) 5-43 times. Fuck the police.

B) Once. But I’ve since cleaned up after having 7 kids.

C) Once, but it was because I made honor roll or graduated.

Okay guys, time to get your results to the quiz! Now, mark down with a pencil and paper how many A’s, B’s, and C’s you have!

Mostly A’s: Congratulations! You are ripping white trash.

Mostly B’s: You are white trash. At least you’re not ripping white trash. I guess.

Mostly C’s: Based on your answers in this quiz, you are not white trash. But if you are banging your cousin, you are.

About these ads

Best Tell-Off I’ve Seen in Awhile!

26 Jun

Just sitting at my desk on lunch, catching up on celebrity gossip and fucking around when I got an email from a reader of a screen shot he took on his Iphone. It’s the best tell off I’ve seen in awhile and honestly, this girl completely deserved his response. Kudos to you, guy! And thanks for sending this to me! I hope you find (or have already found) a girl that is wayyyy hotter and cooler than this biatch. Also, I’d love to see how this chick responded after she read this. Follow up in the comments section on my website (you can write anonymously!) *NOTE: The only thing the girl wrote is in the first screenshot, the rest is the guy’s response.

Tags: , ,

Dating 101: Know When to SHUT UP.

26 Jun

The other night I was out to eat with my boo. Sorry in advance for saying “my boo”. And rather than pay attention to my own relationship, I was listening to an awkward date that was going on at the table next to us. Well, “awkward” is probably the wrong word to use because it wasn’t really that awkward. The guy on this date was completely content with being a social weirdo. And the girl looked like she wanted to break her wine glass and stab her eardrums with the stem. But I’ll get to that in a minute. I want to tell you what this asshat was wearing. He was sporting denim jeans with grass stains, and a striped dress shirt tucked in. But I got the vibe that the grass stains weren’t real. I think this guy bought the pants with the grass stains. You know how Abercrombie and Fitch sells jeans with paint splattered all over them? These particular jeans looked like the grass stains were put on them on purpose. How do I know? Because the grass stains were o the pockets. How do you get grass stains on your pockets and nowhere else? Even if you’re an outdoor enthusiast or a woodsman or athlete or hippie, how are the grass stains on the pockets but not the knees? I just don’t buy it.

So ANYWAYS, this guy not only had God awful attire, but he also had a God awful personality. And he wouldn’t shut the fuck up. He was just talking, talking, talking, asking the girl no questions. Okay guys, if you’re on a first date (I assume this was their first because they didn’t seem comfortable and I’m just a genius and know these things), you should be asking the girl questions about herself. Because that’s what girls want, to talk about themselves. I mean come on guys, we have already taken the effort to Google you and searched PatriotLedger.com to make sure you’re legit. If you made it that far, then you go on the date and then you ask her questions. Don’t get me wrong, girls want to ask questions about you and hear you talk, too. But don’t talk about yourself for 3 goddamn hours while your date orders 78 vodka soda waters to drown you out. The worst part is, this girl on the date I was rubbernecking on was dead sober. See that water on the table?  There isn’t even ice in that water to crunch on to keep yourself entertained. Yeah…Like, maybe if this guy did something really cool for a living (like he got paid to be @QuincyTweets and keep his identity top secret), or if he had good stories (like my story from yesterday about how I’m Beyonce), but he didn’t. He was F’ing talking about the job market. Okay guy, the job market sucks. That’s obviously why you can’t afford new grass-stainless pants. Stop talking about things we already know. Maybe replace the boring bullshit with a compliment. This guy (pictured above in the photo upload courtesy of yours truly) could have been like, “Girl, those Old Navy flip flops bring out your big brown eyes” or “That teal beach dress brings out your tig o’ bitties”. Literally this girl was just saying “Uh huh.” in the most monotone voice. Joke around. Remember, if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything (big thanks to Marilyn Monroe on that quote, now women who are easily entertained are expected  to at least round 2nd base based on giggle currency). This guy I was eavesdropping on during my own date obviously had no idea, was completely egocentric. Like guy, you’re not Holden Caulfield. You can’t pull off the self centered, young adult angst. You’re like 26, you have no wisdom. I went to the bathroom when I realized I had been holding my pee in after drinking 2 sangrias while I listened, and the chick he was with came in right after me. I wanted to break the window open for this poor girl, and give her 10 fingers (Old Navy flip flops would hurt my hands less than heels, so that’s a plus), and tell her to run until she reached the other side of Hancock Street. The change her number. But, there was no window in this bathroom. So I just washed my hands and went back to my date, where I found my boyfriend at the table downing a scorpion bowl. Probably because I was boring him.

Tags: , ,

Haters Gon’ Hate!

25 Jun

Usually when I hear people say “Haters gonna hate!” I want to punch them in the face and tell them I hate them. Ugh, it’s so corny. You’re not Beyonce. People don’t “hate” on you because they are jealous of your womanly fierceness or success. They hate you because you’re annoying and clingy and rude and other negative adjectives. Oh, and you’re a whore when you get drunk. So get off your high horse because you’re not special or interesting enough for “h8rz”…

BUT, I started this blog with the word “usually” because I’m about to talk about the “haters” because of something that just happened to me in the internet realm. If you “like” me on Facebook, you should see me pop up on the newsfeed quite a bit with updates about stupid crap or letting you know there’s a new blog that’s been posted. Well, maybe a week ago I posted a link to the Real World St Thomas website because there is a kid that I worked with in the cast who, in my opinion, was a tool when I worked with him. So I posted the link and made a comment about how this kid was a tool when I knew him (and clearly a complete liar nowadays). Maybe that’s changed. Don’t know/care. There was a big response, mostly just people shitting on the kid. Two people who were usually pretty vocal on my Facebook page had comments about jealousy being an ugly trait and that me and those who were calling the kid out will someday know how it feels when MTV twists what we say in our Real World bio’s or something. I didn’t really understand either of those comments because 1. Why would I be jealous of this tool? and 2. I don’t plan on auditioning for Real World ever in my life so how could MTV mess up my non-existent bio? Either way, I noticed a few hours later some chick who didn’t like me in high school (I honestly don’t remember why, I think we had a mutual friend and that just caused tension or something) “liked” the bitchy comments from the two people who were hatin’.  I kind of thought “Eh, maybe she’s friends with the kid or something and is defending him, I understand that, can’t hate on her for it”. And I also felt satisfaction for the simple fact that she obviously reads my shit enough to keep up with comment threads on my public Facebook page. I eventually ended up deleting the link to the bio altogether because I felt like if he read the things people were saying he wouldn’t feel so great and I’m kind of a bitch sometimes, but I’m not a bully. Especially not a cyber bully. So the entire post/thread was deleted and forgotten about…

But THEN, about 5 minutes ago I got one of those annoying notifications on Facebook that someone else had commented on a link about this MTV Real World kid that a mutual friend had posted. And I saw that this “someone else” was the same chick who didn’t like me in high school who “liked” all the bitchy comments that the two people on my blog’s Facebook had written. AND I saw that she had written mean shit about the Real World kid. Which led me to the conclusion that this “hater” isn’t friends with the MTV kid, she is just a fucking hypocritical flip flopper who was only liking things that people said AGAINST me because she doesn’t like me!!! Awww hell nawww!

So you’re all probably thinking…what was the point of me telling this drawn out story about internet drama? Like, this story clearly sucked balls, wasn’t funny, there was just no point. Well, the point to telling this stupid story was to tell you all that I have a real life “hater”. Like, really. She likes anything negative that people say to me, without bias. Then I clearly saw with my own eyes that she AGREES with me but STILL went against me just because obviously, she doesn’t like me. She is a “HATER”. And that leads me to the conclusion….

THAT I AM BEYONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO FIERCE!! WHO RUN THE WORLD?!!! GIRLS! If you have a hater, that makes YOU Beyonce, too!!!!!

It was a long Monday. And Beyonce needs some R&R. So keep frontin’ hoe! DEUCES!

If you know someone who is a target of a cyber bully, call Beyonce at 1-800-BlueIvyBitches. She fuck ‘em up LYRICALLY!~*~*~~*ONE*~~**~*~*~

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Tags: , , , ,

“Can I Get A Ride?” & Other Dumb Shit People Ask On Facebook

19 Jun

There is nothing I love more than reading the threads under Facebook statuses that ask for rides/drugs. Well, there is one thing I love more, and that’s searching Facebook for freshly arrested morons that I read about on PatriotLedger.com. The ideal thing to find is a status from the night of their arrest that says “FML” or something. Love it. White trash never fails to disappoint: they keep their Facebook profiles public and write ALL of their business on social media. Like I said though, it’s a close second when I see people ask for rides/drugs via a status update. Like, do you have no shame asking an acquaintance for a ride to the courthouse? Take a fucking taxi. I guess it’s naive of me to think that they have the money for a taxi. In that case, take the bus. It’s fitting. And the drugs status are even better. Sometimes I will log in and strike gold on my newsfeed when I read a status that asks if anyone can get any percocets. But that’s just wishful thinking. Most of the time I just see a few “Anyone got any buddha? Hit me up!”. The responses are sometimes hilarious. Concerned family members telling their little cherubs that they are running with the wrong crowd. People asking if they should really be putting their “business” on Facebook like that. It kills me. I hope people who ask these kinds of questions on social media are reading this right now and feel like total assholes. Stop smoking, and I don’t usually tell potheads to stop smoking, but for these people I will make a special exception because the last thing they need is to lose more brain cells. I pray to Tupac that these people who ask for a drug connect online aren’t REALLY that stupid. That maybe they are just seeking some attention or something. Perhaps they want to be internet cool? Perhaps this is just the generation of fucking retards who think its acceptable and smart to ask for drugs on the same network that their parents are logged into. I hope these people fall for those random faux friend requests of “real people” they’ve never heard of who are their age, from their hometown, and have 78 mutual friends and a photo album of 3-4 super generic/obscure pictures of  groups of girls that can be found if you Google “stock images of group of teenagers”. For example:

Guess what smartypants? Those are either cops or your ex boyfriend’s new/batshit crazy girlfriend who wants to creep. Don’t believe me? Think you are just getting hit on? Well go to that person’s Facebook and check the About Me/quotes. I promise you that their info is filled with references to typical slang and hangout spots in your city or town, such as “My hobbies are hangin at the rock and chillin’ with my guuurrrllls!” And whether this strange friend request is 5-0 or the crazy new girlfriend, your status updates requesting someone to inbox you where the good sticky icky is doesn’t make it look like you’re a successful young professional with a promising life ahead of you. And you brag about your street smarts? Get it together.

Tags: , ,

Sickest JLo/Jarule Remake Ever From Some Quincy Fellas

18 Jun

I was just perusing the internet when my friend sent me this…these guys are my friends’ brothers…and they will have you cracking up with their remakes. Check them out:

Ahh and I just creeped on their Youtube account and found this beautiful tribute to Katy Perry:

 

Tags: , ,

A Cute Story About Love That Might Be Boring For Men.

18 Jun

This is not going to be a funny post. It’s just a quick story I heard this weekend that I thought was kind of cute. Men probably should stop reading now.

So my two friends who happen to be in a relationship were over my house the other night having some drinks and they shared with me an adorable story that you may think is corny. But I’ll tell you anyways because who the hell do you think you are?! Well, these friends of mine dated years ago in high school, broke up, and then reconnected and have been dating for quite a bit now and have a magical relationship like Allie and Noah (okay, no couple is that cute, but my point is they are a good couple). Here’s the story: My male friend was looking at old pictures at his mom’s house and noticed a picture he took of his parents back when he was little. He recalled that the picture was taken at Faxon field at some event for kids that the city has where Santa jumps out of a helicopter. He also noticed a little girl standing behind his parents who looked strikingly similar to his girlfriend, but thought the chances of that were slim. So later when he was with his girlfriend he asked if she’d ever been to the event where Santa jumps out of a helicopter (figuring she would remember something like that). She had no idea what he was talking about, so he chalked it up to the little girl in the picture being a look-alike. A few days later, he brought his girlfriend over to his mom’s and decided to show her the freaky picture of the little girl. So his girlfriend looked at the picture and says, “Yup that’s me!”. And she could confirm this because she also knew the woman standing behind her in the picture. Here are the pictures, but I’ve replaced the faces of my friend’s parents with Alec Baldwin and Annie Camden (7th Heaven mom) for privacy reasons:

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a sucker for shit having to do with love. But like, what are the odds that some random picture you took of your parents at a stupid Santa suicide jump would have your future love in the background? They hadn’t met, didn’t go to the same school or live close to each other. It just seems kind of crazy that of all the silly little girls running around waiting for Santa to swan dive into Faxon park, that it would be this silly little girl who was standing there at the exact second the picture was taken. Maybe it’s not that crazy. I don’t know. Just thought it was kind of cute. I read a similar story to this on the internet where a guy or girl had a picture taken of them at Disney World when they were like 5 years old, and standing in the background is their future spouse at 5 years old. Just seems like crazy odds to me. Obviously that story is more crazy because they were in Disney at the same time but still, things like this just make me believe in fate and other majestic shit…like unicorns and global warming and the Richard Gere/anal hamster myth. Ahh, love is just so cute. Until it ends in divorce.

Thanks J & S for letting me tell your corny story =) Love you guys.

Tags: , , ,

Because Molly Said So’s Real World Bio

15 Jun

Because Molly Said So is not your typical Real World cast member. That’s mostly due to the fact that she was not selected to be on the Real World. She didn’t even send in an audition tape because that show has been whack since that season with Puck. But if she WAS a Real World cast member/complete tool, this would be her bio:

Molly is a whimsical girl with an afficiando for arts and crafts (her specialty is coloring in the lines), luxury yachts (seeking a friend who owns one! Inbox me if interested!), and Lisa Frank collectibles. She wears a lot of black because she’s edgy/a non starving artist who knows how slimming black really is. She has a knack for scoping out bargains and practices this by shopping only at TJ Maxx and Marshall’s. But don’t worry that she’s tacky, because she refuses to step foot into AJ Wright. Well, that’s a lie. She’s been in there, but has never made a purchase. She is the daughter of a woman and man. Kids hate her and no one really wants to be her. But she’s cool and collected and even nonexistent antagonists like the Trunchbull fear her. One time she had a beta fish that just would not die. Her heroes include: Anne Frank, Billy Mays, Michelle Kwan, Rider Strong, homeless people who rise to the top and have a net worth of $23 bucks a day, the actor who played the gay best friend in My Best Friend’s Wedding, and Mother Teresa. Molly can make a mean macaroni and cheese from the box (Annie’s because fuck Kraft). She considers the process of boiling pasta to be an art and thinks that anyone who disagrees can go hang themselves with a pair of distressed acid washed Lee jorts. Molly rose from the mean streets of Dorchester, Massachusetts…one of the hardest (at least in the top 12) parts of Boston. She hustled hard in those streets until she was 6 years old and moved to the city of Presidents, where she would thrive and do absolutely nothing with her liberal artsy Psychology degree. One time she got into a fight with a local high school’s cheerleader, and she didn’t win or lose, and is now cool with that cheerleader because she doesn’t hold a grudge and believes in the power of kindness. She is a cheap wine enthusiast with a soft spot for Bud Lights. But she passes on grass because it makes her paranoid and brings out her inner cray. She’s never done bath salts, because she’s crazy but not cannibal crazy. So what would she bring to the table in the Real World season 20-something? She would be THAT super unique girl who is agnostic, down to earth, has her ears double pierced but really doesn’t give a fuck because she’s too lazy to put in 2 pairs of studs and thinks big hoops are for hoes. She would be down for whatevahhh (but she would not be down for hardcore drugs, partying/jumping into pools naked, sleeping with meatheads, being in a room with hipsters, watching soccer games, going to pick up lunch meat at Roxie’s sans a bra, or claiming she’s from somewhere she’s not). Her hidden talents are criticizing Abbie Lee Miller’s coaching techniques, avoiding the gym at all costs, and most notably: her ability to make the sound effect of the scene transition in the Nickelodeon show “Doug” (you know, chicka pa pa, pa chicka chicka pa paaahhh!). Molly would be that CRaAAazy and rare girl who is open to other people’s ideas and opinions, has nice parents who are still happily married, is in a steady relationship, doesn’t smoke Newports or any cigarettes, goes to the gym once every 3 weeks, loves carbs, and tries to avoid confrontation that doesn’t occur on the internet. Pretty wild, right? So what do you think? Will Molly’s wild ways be tamed when she’s put in a random house in a some foreign place with 7 strangers? Or will the MTV producers kick her out for being way too normal? Find out never on the non existent season of:

Tags: , , ,

Jorts Season

15 Jun

Oh, hey guys! Just wanted to talk about the fugliest season of the year: jorts season. Don’t you just love walking the boardwalk on a warm summer night, wind hitting you in your drunk face, and all is good in the world? Suddenly in the distance, you see a hottie. And you walk closer and closer to that hotter, getting increasingly excited because he looks like Ryan Gosling’s twin brother. But that all comes crashing down when you give that hottie the elevator eyes…and your eyes stop dead on his waist/thigh area. Jean shorts. This bro has gone from Ryan Gosling hottie to the ugliest Baldwin. And on top of his atrocious attire, you also notice he kind of smells. How could a piece of Wrangler denim fabric make this guy go from sexy stud to middle aged, station wagon driving, balding dad on a vacation in the 1980′s? I don’t know. But that’s the effect that jorts has on a person. They might make a man feel rugged and comfortable and masculine. But in reality they look like this:

Woah, those second to the last pair of jorts are the jortiest jorts I’ve ever seen. The good news is that there are exceptions to wearing jorts. If you are a female wearing short jhorts, go for it. If you are a thug, go for it. But you must be a black thug. Otherwise, no dice Slim Shady.

What I’m trying to say here is, I know most of you men love your jorts. But do yourself a solid, and our eyes a favor, and burn them. It will work out for the best. If it makes you sad to part with your jorts, just remember how uncomfortable they are when they are wet. How are you going to go for a spontaneous swim this summer if you’re wearing jorts? You might as well just wear mandals with socks. BURN THEM.

 

Tags: , ,

99 Problems & a Bitch is Sometimes One…

14 Jun

I’ve been having a hard time writing lately because life has been busy. Quick update that you don’t care about: I moved from Wollaston to the edge of Hospital Hill (I say the edge of Hospital Hill because I don’t want to say Quincy Center). Fantastic news is I have a breathtaking view of the Adams Mansion from my bed. I really have it made. Not so fantastic news is I live too close to the gym and can no longer say that I don’t have time to go. My real big girl job has also been busy and the smell of Chinatown in hot weather makes me tired (I think the same chemicals that are in turkey & make you tired are also in the Chinatown air).  I’ve also been busy drinking wine and watching shitty television shows.

So anyways, even though I haven’t been blogging much, I have been observing things being said on social media/in the news and I’ve been forming opinions. And I’ve noticed a lot of people (mostly female) bitching about men. Saying that men are dogs and pigs and jackasses and all these other negative adjectives comparing the male species to animals. And I have to set the record straight and remind everyone that sometimes girls are dogs and pigs and jackasses, too. I feel kind of bad that men are always the sex that is associated with piggish behavior. I know plenty of girls who act like pigs! Pig sluts, pig heads, slam pigs, etc.! Not all girls are pigs, but neither are all men.

I think the main issue here is that the girls who are always calling men out have had bad experiences with a guy (or multiple guys) and the pig-man seed is planted in the back of their brains. I just wish these girls would dig around under their beds for their Alanis Morisette Jagged Little Pill CD’s, dust them off, and listen to them…a lot. Get some of that rage out by listening to You Oughta Know, punch a picture of Joey Gladstone, and then immediately play Head Over Feet, and move on. Not all guys cheat. Yeah, a lot of them do. But not all. You can find a good guy! Just stop looking for dickheads.

That  being said, let’s go back to talking about girls who are pigs. As I age deeper into my 20′s, I hear more and more about girls seeking men with money. That’s not cool. Get your own goddamn money! Women should know that they can be financially independent on their own. Why would any smart female want to rely solely on a man for money? I make my own money, I don’t need anyone’s charity! This isn’t the fucking 50′s! This is the 00′s and the divorce rate is higher than 50/50. Get a grip and hold yourself up. And don’t be ashamed to pay for your boyfriend sometimes. You want to go out to dinner and drinks every night? Don’t expect your boyfriend to pay every night. No one likes a mooch. Speaking of mooches, some chicks even go out to the bars for the night with no money because they expect random men they flirt with to pay for their drinks. What the shit is THAT?! If you can’t afford to go out, then don’t go out. If you go out (with money!) and a guy you are talking to offers to buy you a drink, then fine, that’s great. But don’t go out with no back up and the intention of scamming men into getting you 17 vodka and soda waters with a splash of cranberry!!! As for taken girls, don’t expect your boyfriend to buy you extravagant gifts every stupid little holiday that you don’t even celebrate because you’re an athiest or agnostic or whatever! Some girls ask me “Oh what did your boyfriend get you for Christmas?”, and I tell them what he got me (which is always a very generous gift, but if it’s something I don’t need, I tell him not to bother spending a shit-ton of money), and when I tell them what he got me, they will be like “Oh is that it?”. Um yeah, that’s it. I didn’t expect a trip to Paris, Italy and Greece and a Brahmin bag. I just needed a new reasonably priced pocketbook because I use mine until they are literally falling apart. If you are the kind of girl who wants to spend 2,000 on a fucking bag, then all the power to you. I just hope you are buying it for yourself and don’t have the audacity to ask your boyfriend to buy it for you.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that while most cheating men will straight up go out and cheat on their partners blatantly, women are much more sneaky when they cheat. They go out of their way to change their passwords to their phones, and Facebook, and whatever else has passwords. They create these intricate fool-proof stories when they are out doing scandalous shit. They make damn sure that no one who knows about their behavior is in their inner circle. Then if they are accused of something minor, they flip the fuck out, turn the situation around, and go into zombie face eating mode and start screaming at their boyfriend about circles of trust and something about listening skills and “YOU NEVER DO THE DISHES! WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE DAWSON LEERY OR NOAH CALHOUN OR REAL LIFE RYAN GOSLING!?!?!??! RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”. It’s just crazy.

My point here is, maybe you’re a girl who has had a douchebag boyfriend or 10 in the past. If that’s the case, put those douchebags in the past and keep them there and don’t categorize all men as pigs. Take a little bit of responsibility if you are a chronic douche-dater. Admit that you have shitty taste and vow to change it. I hear girls say they “have a thing for bad boys”. Okay, so date a guy who does minor bad things…like a guy who jaywalks or one who doesn’t give a shit that jhorts are fugly, or one who scream at 10 year old’s while playing Call of Duty. Don’t date a real bad boy, like an alcoholic who abuses his elderly grandma and gives you the pet name “Skank-hoe”. Just because you have come across some bad men doesn’t mean that all guys are pigs. And it definitely doesn’t make it acceptable for you to act like a pig/dog.

← Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,113 other followers

%d bloggers like this: