From the moment I learned how to count money, (so around last February) I decided that I wanted to be rich when I grow up. And now, here I am, a half assed grown up, still not rich. Just a 25 year old working girl, who went to college basically for nothing. Don’t be one of those fools who say “But at least you have your education!Education is everything!!!” either, because education is not everything. I know a lot of educated people who are two thirds to a retard, but their family has money and if your parents aren’t completely poor, then you can go to college. Even if your parents are completely poor, you can go to college. You’ll just have to eat Ramen more than usual and work a really shitty job to buy books. But yeah, besides family, health, love, and alcohol, money is the most important thing. Because it DOES buy happiness. All the assholes who say it doesn’t, have never been broke. I mean, I guess you can be happy and poor, but that means you are also oblivious to life/are on strong pharmaceuticals. On the contrary, you can also be unhappy and rich. But that means you’re an idiot. Follow me? Well, none of this really has anything to do with me. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not rich yet and I’m pissed about that. I also don’t want to put that much work into getting rich. Maybe put effort in for like a month max, then be set for life. That being said, I’ve discovered what I need to do. I need to write a book.
Now my next problem besides being poor, is figuring out what to write about. It seems there have been a lot of “things” the past few years when it comes to literature. First the new thing was wizards. Then the new thing was vampires/werewolves. Then it was vampire sex. And now the newest thing is complete sexual submission to successful and powerful business men with last names that are also neutral colors. Which leads me to the plot of my potential book: Vampires who submit to entrepreneur werewolves with neutral color last names such as Mr. Brown, who when they aren’t fucking and being obscure/weird romantics, are plotting ways to murder Harry Potter and other wizards. I might throw a mermaid into the mix, just so people don’t think I’m copying Stephanie Meyer or JK Rowling completely. Speaking of JK Rowling, I feel like I should also give myself a cool name so that I remain gender neutral. I think I should get rid of the “Mc” in my last name, because no Irish need apply. Does M.E. Kenna sound okay? Also, Channing Tatum will play the werewolf when the movies come out. Harry Potter will play himself. Kevin James can be the vampire because vampires aren’t meant to be funny and Kevin James is never funny. And finally, Blake Lively with a Boston accent will play the mermaid/protagonist. I like to stay relevant while staying true to my Boston roots. Yeah, this will make me SO rich. Thoughts? Feedback?