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Archive | August, 2012

Clint Eastwood

31 Aug

I want everyone to stop Googling “Clint Eastwood Speech”, “Clint Eastwood Republican Convention”, and “Empty Chair” for a moment, and just remember this:

(Spoiler alert: If you have never seen Gran Torino and plan on watching it, don’t watch this clip!)

…so let’s just remember Clint Eastwood for this and stop grouping him into the “crazy old man who’s lost his marbles” category. As a matter of fact, let’s ignore all celebrities who involve themselves in politics. Before they get as smug as George Clooney…

I still love you, Clint. And George…you’re just lucky you’re sexy and I’m shallow.

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I Called It!

29 Aug

Remember when you’re little and you are playing make pretend with your friends and you’re pretending to be your favorite characters from a TV show, or band, or movie, etc.? Wasn’t it annoying when your one really prettiest/coolest friend always was like “Well, I’m so and so or I’m not playing!” and she would pick the best of the group? Well that’s never happening to me again because I’m calling it right here, right now, so that if I ever play pretend games again, my friends know who’s boss (the answer is me):

I’M THE PINK RANGER, KIMBERLY! I CALLED IT!

I’M POSH SPICE! I CALLED IT!

I’M TEENY! I CALLED IT!

 

I’M MARRYING ZAC! I CALLED IT!

I’M BEYONCE! CALLED IT! I’M KELLY! CALLED IT! I’M ASHLEY! CALLED IT! I’M SANKA! CALLED IT! (….what? did no other little girls play “Cool Runnings” with a Radio Flyer as a kid? Jeez…tough crowd.) I’M MARRYING STEFAN, NOT STEVE! CALLED IT!

And for good measure…
SHOT GUN! I CALLED IT!

 

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Anonymous Email

29 Aug

Usually I like to make this blog lighthearted, but today I got an email from someone who didn’t leave a name or anything, and wants me to post this, but remain anonymous. It’s about their personal struggle with addiction and I wanted to share it because it hits close to home, as I would we all know someone who is struggling or is struggling themselves with addiction. I didn’t edit it, just literally copy and pasted as is. Don’t want this to start a comment debate over whether or not addiction is a disease. Addiction is a reality and I just wanted to maybe give someone some insight, in the chance that reading it could help someone. Or encourage others to reach out to someone they know is struggling for support. Or in general, just make us think twice before we judge someone. Thanks to the individual who wrote this, for sharing a personal part of his/her life and thanks for reading. If you can help just one person…

I’m gunna sound hypocritical here but oh well. I’ve been seriously fighting my drug addiction for a year now. My first time I went to detox was in september and I was good for a couple months. I got on the vivatrol shot that’s an opiate blocker and makes me sick if I use. My drug of choice was/is percocets. Never got into heroin cause I can’t stick myself with a needle. Luckily. Anyway I had surgery… And one thing led to another ending up using again. 2 months later I was back in detox. And I’ve been clean since april. I’m still fighting every day been on the shot since mayand it works. I’m lucky enough to have good insurance. Very lucky.
 
Unfortunately it took a lot for me to finally ask for help and stop being an idiot. Do I have a disease? I don’t know. I know I can’t handle recreational drug use. I liked feeling numb. I don’t know why I’m writing you this but it feels good.
Anyway I’m sick of these fucking idiots who say they wish they could get clean. GET HELP.. Its out there even if you don’t have insurance. People worry about the medical bills… Fuck that I was using close to 200 dollars a day. That’s more than enough to handle whatever copays you get through mass health.
 
people keep making excuses and it pisses me off. When you’re ready for help ask someone.
 
Its sad seeing all these addicts walking around all fucked up the south shore and boston.
 
Don’t these people want better? I know I do. Its a fight and you have to find it within yourself to make it.
 
There’s no answer to everyones problems… People need to be held accountable for their life and when they choose to live their life numb and fucked up they might as well rot.
 
But not every addict is the same. I’m just sick of people grouping us all together. Everyone loses their way for awhile. And using the percs and heroin to numb it seriously fucks with your head and your life.
 
I don’t know why I’m sending you this. Its just a way to get it out with keeping myself protected I guess


				
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The ‘Always Something’ Friend

	
		29
		Aug
	

	

	

		


Everyone has someone in their life that ALWAYS  has something going on. And the “something” in “always something” is a complaint. They can always find something to complain about. And you know why? Because they want to. Because they LOVE IT. They thrive off of drama and negativity. They are the most full of shit person you have ever met and you’d have cut ties long ago, but there is an obstacle preventing you from doing so – maybe this person is an old friend whom you feel obligated to, or a family member, or a coworker. God knows. All you know, is that it’s always something. Everyone reading this right now is probably thinking of that one person in their life that fits this description. Tell me that this isn’t something that an Always Something friend would do:


The sun is shining, birds singing, day off from work, and you turn to your “Always Something” friend and say “Isn’t life FABULOUS today?!“…


And your Always Something friend responds, “Yeah, it is nice out and all… but I rolled my ankle this morning. Does it look swollen?”. It probably doesn’t look swollen, but don’t tell the Always Something friend this, they will get upset and shout, “I can’t believe you don’t believe I am injured!”. The Always Something friend is the friend who rolls their ankle. This happens roughly once a month and they have their grandfather’s crutches from when he fell into 1987 handy to garner sympathy for their crippled ass.


What else is bothering the Always Something friend? The fact that their parents divorced amicably in 1992. That separation is the root of every single problem the Always Something friend has. Does the Always Something friend smoke butts? Trace THAT habit back to the divorce. Do they get mild to moderate back pain? Mom and dad’s fault. This isn’t just an excuse. This is mom and dad’s fault for divorcing. The double birthday parties growing up was a slap in the face to the Always Something friend. Those two pinatas served as a reminder that mommy and daddy fell out of love. From that point on, the Always Something friend was doomed.


Another thing the Always Something friend is subjected to on the regular is death. As a matter of fact, their great grandmother’s, dog walker’s, sister’s, mailman passed away last Fall. And the Always Something friend is in mourning. Don’t ask the Always Something friend what’s wrong…it’s obvious! And don’t ask the Always Something friend for an obituary to get a week off to grieve…they will threaten to sue. Their family’s dog died before they were born and the Always Something friend never moved on. Such a tragedy. And when the girl from another town that the Always Something friend met once at age 4 passes away, the Always Something friend makes sure to status update everyone on social media networks that this girl’s passing was the worst thing that has EVER happened to them. Then they get a tattoo in honor of the deceased. Lord knows what they would do if someone they were actually close to/knew passed away. They would have to dedicate a hole sleeve of RIP & rosary tattoos.


Never speak of any unfortunate events that might be troubling you in front of the Always Something friend. For the Always Something friend always has it worse. And if you take the sympathy away, the Always Something friend will dramatically trip over a leaf or a dust molecule, and fall slowly to the ground, rolling their ankle. Better get the the Always Something friend to the Emergency Room, because a bag of frozen peas won’t heal the Always Something friend’s fragile parts.


Also remember if you have a cold, to stay clear of the Always Something friend. For they have the weakest immune systems of any other being to have ever existed. If you even see the Always Something friend from a quarter mile away, they will catch the same cold, call in sick for a month, and cry about their parent’s divorce and their gerbil’s death while they are quarantined.


God forbid the Always Something friend gets any kind of an illness that is more serious than a cold. For example, mono. They will never let it go. They will refer to it 100 times a week as “that time I had mono and was bedridden and lost 20 lbs and almost died.“, when in reality they lost maybe 3lbs and used it as proof that they were gravely ill.


Always Something friends typically have around 46.3 pregnancy scares annually. Even if they aren’t having sex. It’s just always something.


So… do any of these situations sound familiar to you? Of course, because everyone has that one person in their life, who always has something going on. And the purpose of this blog is to remind you that while you recognize who this person is in your life, you probably can’t do shit about it. Living is difficult, isn’t it? 

				
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Sticky Fingered Friends and Graphic T-Shirts

	
		28
		Aug
	

	

	

		
Hi Molly,


I’m writing to you for some advice. I basically caught one of my girlfriends stealing from me. I caught her redhanded. We were getting ready to go out one night this month and I had a Forever21 bag on my bed with a very distinct graphic t-shirt in it and some other stuff. This friend was the only one in my room since I had gotten that shirt. The next morning, I went to get the t-shirt, and it wasn’t in the bag, or anywhere. Trust me, I looked everywhere. I didn’t want to immediately accuse my friend of stealing it from me because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt – especially my friends! But a week later I was on Facebook and lo and behold, a family member of my friend uploaded a picture of her at some family party. In the picture, my friend is wearing MY T-SHIRT! As soon as the picture was tagged, my friend detagged it, which proves her guilt even more. Should I confront her? I feel so awkward, but I want my t-shirt back!




                                    -Feeling Awky in the Point


Dear F.A.I.H.N,


First of all, never use “awky” again. Second of all, is your friend from Point, too? I guess I won’t go there…


Now to answer your question which admittedly, I am torn over:


On the one hand I want to say no, don’t confront your friend. She’s not your friend because if she were, she would think your friendship is worth more than $12.99. But on the other hand, I want to tell you to thank your friend. She prevented you from wearing a cheap graphic tee. Tell me it had a picture of a childhood cartoon character and that will urge me to tell you to send her a thank you Edible Arrangement. I’ve never understood people who wear graphic T’s. I mean, I guess it’s okay to wear a green Irishy tee on St Patty’s day. And honestly, who doesn’t love a free bar crawl t-shirt? Maybe a band t-shirt – I steal my boyfriend’s tee’s all the time.  But like, what about those people who wear t-shirts with like, Tweety bird on them in every day life? Are they just entirely giving up on looking presentable? Because they are getting their point across and might as well pair their t-shirt with mom jeans. And if the shirt doesn’t have cartoons on it, please don’t tell me that it’s “artsy” because it has some trippy design on it. We give men a hard time for wearing Affliction and equally terrible graphic tee’s. Let’s not be hypocrites by wearing them ourselves. 


Look, if you want the t-shirt back that badly, just go back to Forever21, wait in the absurdly long line while listening to that seizure-inducing music, then flaunt your stuff  in your tacky attire and if you run into your sticky fingered ex-friend in public while you are both wearing it then maybe you’ll learn your lesson: stop dressing like a tacky person or people will think you are tacky.


Thanks for writing to me!


xoxo


Gossip Girl


Er…I mean, Molly

				
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August’s Featured Bartender: Amy!

	
		28
		Aug
	

	

	

		
What’s the best way to celebrate going back to work after vacation or starting classes back up? You guessed it (or maybe you didn’t): drinking at a local watering hole. This month when I asked you guys to send me nominations for  you favorite bartenders, I got 3 consecutive emails nominating Amy. Someone even attached a picture of her and I immediately recognized her as the bartender at the Half Door in Quincy Center. Amy’s awesome. Being a girl, it sucks when you get up to the bar and have to wait in a long line for a drink, only to be cut in line by a dude who has only been waiting for 1 second just because the bartender is female and favoring men. I’m sure this happens with guys, too. Probably the most annoying thing to deal with when you’re out at night. Amy doesn’t do this, she’s completely fair and doesn’t favor anyone. She hustles and gets everyone what they want quickly: booze…obviously. And for that, we thank her. So here’s the people’s choice for August’s featured bartender:







M: Where and when can we find you slinging drinks? 


A: You can find me at the Half Door (duh) Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Friday and Saturday nights. Otherwise, Im usually drinking Pina Coladas in the dunes of the Cape (where I’m originally from).


M: Do you have a signature drink?


A: Signature drink? Yes, I make a mean Bud Light wink I have a few other tricks up my sleeve though. . .fall being right around the corner, we just tapped the Shipyard Pumpkin. I make a drink called “Not Your Mother’s Apple Pie”. It’s Shipyard Pumpkin with a shot of Pinnacle whipped vodka and a cinnamon brown sugar rim job. I’m also known for the “Pixie Stick”. . .it’s the Half Door’s version of Toddler’s and Tiara’s “Go Go juice”. 


M: What is the craziest or creepiest or funniest thing you’ve seen while bartending?


A: I’ve been bartending for a few years now (10+) so I’ve seen some wild stuff in my days. I bartended Lansdowne Street thrOUGH 2004 and got to see the Sox win the World Series from Fenway. That was pretty nuts. Its a pretty vivid memory which is good because the way it’s looking, we wont see that again for a while. unsure


 Quincy center doesn’t disappoint with it’s fair share of entertainment, either. Just recently I was lucky enough to serve and chat it up with the holder of The Guinness Book of World Records “Largest Gingerbread House Maker” award. It had a real smoking chimney and a chandelier. Yup. He also had some pretty sick dance moves. Another night many moons ago someone on a leisurely stroll down Hancock Street tried to bust out the front door windows with TWO, that’s right, TWO samurai swords. 


 That 911 call went a little something like this:


 Dispatcher: “911, whats your emergency?”


 Me: “Ummmm, someone’s trying to smash the windows of the bar Im working at with two samurai swords”


 Dispatcher: “Can you repeat that??”


 Me: “Uhhh yeah, he’s got two samurai swords and he’s trying to bust the front door windows.”


 Dispatcher: (laughter) 


 You can’t make this stuff up!!!


Nope you can’t make it up. So go see Amy at the Half Door this weekend! That apple pie drink sounds bomb…I think I’ll stop in, too.

				
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What The F Was THAT, Walt?!

	
		27
		Aug
	

	

	

		
SPOILER ALERT: Don’t read this if you didn’t watch last night’s episode of Breaking Bad “Say My Name”.




I’m still reeling over the end of last night’s episode of Breaking Bad. It might have been the Pino, but I almost cried when Mike keeled over and died on that peaceful water bank. Like, sorry you got called out Walt, but you’ve been fucking up. And what pisses me off the most is that the only reason that Walt shot Mike is because he was spiteful about being called out on his flaws regarding the entire operation. Yeah, he wanted the list, but he was mostly pissed about what Mike had said. He was left fuming over Mike’s words and obviously not thinking rationally. Mike’s death was not about that list. We know this because Walt basically says it immediately afterwards when Mike is waiting out his last few moments of life….Walt could have just gotten a list of Mike’s 9 people from Lydia – obviously the easier target of the two. Walt is just such a smug bastard at this point that he couldn’t handle it when Mike called him out. And like Mike said, everything would have been FINE if Walt just knew his place.


I think the only obvious thing to happen next is a war between Walt and Jesse. I mean, what is Jesse going to say/do when he finds out about what Walt did to Mike? I know we have another episode left followed by the rest of this cut up season, but Jesse is going to kill Walt, right? How else can they end this? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right?


Yeah, I’m right. I just don’t want to end things not liking Walt. That’s what’s happening at the end of this season and I honestly just want to go back to screaming “SHUT UP, SKYLER!” at my TV.


Side note: did those cake pops make anyone else hungry for cake pops?




Anyways, Team Jesse.

				
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An Apology To My Enemies

	
		27
		Aug
	

	

	

		
If I learned anything from watching stupid movies, it’s that you should always apologize to your enemies. Take for instance the guy that Billy Madison apologized to for bullying when he was younger.  Just a quick “I’m sorry”, and boom! Off the hit list. Doesn’t that seem like an easy price to pay? It takes a strong person to apologize, guys. Let’s make Maya Angelou proud!So now it’s my turn to apologize to people I’ve wronged. Some I have considered enemies. Hopefully this is a short list, I’m close to perfect so it shouldn’t be too long.


1. Rider Strong: I’m sorry that I wrote a blog about you out of spite because you didn’t retweet me. My  feelings were just hurt that the entire rest of the cast who were more important than you retweeted me within a couple of days, whereas you just ignored me and tweeted about shitty independent films that no one will go see. I’m also sorry that I said Cabin Fever sucked. I was just bitter that I gave my time to something that sucked so bad. I’m sorry that I said I was happy that Angela dumped you. You weren’t even a real life couple, so that made no sense. Oh, and lastly, I’m sorry for saying this picture of you was stupid: 


2. The Bitch from my blogs “Bitches” & “Bitches Part 2″: Sorry for calling you a bitch. And sorry for saying you wear the Daisy Fuentes collection. I don’t know where you shop. I know you are going for some kind of Bohemian look, and I don’t think that includes blazers from Kohls. Also, sorry for telling everyone you are cheap for bringing Stop & Shop brand hotdogs to my barbecue. There’s nothing wrong with Stop & Shop brand. I’m just kind of partial to Ballpark Franks, because they plump when you cook ‘em. But that’s all water under the bridge now. I’m mainly just sorry you date my ex. If anyone is the bitch, it’s him.


3. The Cliffhanger: Sorry for sarcastically blogging about your outdoor patio on 3A. I don’t know for a fact that people wouldn’t enjoy some outdoor drinking in your fenced off area near Amazing Adult Express. Some people are into drinking lukewarm Corona’s in a Weymouth parking lot and it was wrong of me to imply else wise. If it’s any consolation, I like your American flag. Oh, and I’m also sorry that ‘Let’s Go Clay!’ went out of business. I’m sure a lot of moms went to your establishment for an Arbor Mist while their kid painted a ceramic piggy bank next door. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a Plaster Fun Time to open up.


4. Brandon K. from Real World St. Thomas: Sorry for that tweet from me that said you were lying about being from South Boston. You were just lying about being from South Boston and so I wanted to remind you of that. And sorry for that other tweet that used you as the extreme end on the emo continuum: “On a scale of 1 to Brandon from Real World, how emo is my new profile picture?”. I just thought when I watched 5 seconds of the Real World that you were emo, so I thought it was okay. Also, sorry for calling you out when you lied about deflowering a cheerleader in your MTV bio. I just know that cheerleader and she wasn’t deflowered by you so I thought it was weird that you said that and maybe you forgot that it didn’t really happen. And also I’m just jealous of your successful life post RW. Maybe I can get an unblock/follow someday? (@BCMollySaidSo).


Time to let out a collective sigh of relief. I feel SO much better. Now someday when I’m in trouble and need one of these people to help me, they’ll pop out of nowhere and save my life. Just like Steve Buscemi did for Billy around 2:43 of this Youtube clip:




See? Apologize to an enemy today!

				
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SUMMER IS OVER.

	
		23
		Aug
	

	

	

		
Don’t you hate that person who never fails to remind you on August 1st that summer is over? Um, not it’s not. We still have a solid 2 months of hot weather and drinking on patios from that point. So shut up. But it’s now the end of August so I guess I can now say Summer is almost coming to an end, and I’m actually kind of looking forward to Fall.  I’m getting sick of the hot weather (cue 50 people telling me “Wait til you’re complaining about the snow and cold weather!”). I don’t really get to utilize the hot weather, so it has no use to me. I only went to the beach ONCE this summer. Once. I’ve had stupid stuff to do every single weekend of summer. So yeah, I’m ready for pumpkin beer, hot coffee, fuckin’…foliage, unfashionably rocking Uggs for another year, hoodies, American Horror Story, dressing like a slut on Halloween, watching Hocus Pocus for the 987th time, drinking for warmth as opposed for drinking solely for pleasure, stepping on crunchy leaves, etc. Those are all the best things about Fall. But you know what the worst parts about Fall are? I shall remind you…


School buses: A commuter’s nightmare. School buses are back on the roads to wreck our days and make us late. Get stuck behind one and you’re stopping at every corner. If you get visibly angry only antagonizes the little spawns of satan who sit in the back laughing at you and flipping you off quickly then whipping around as not to face you.




Saw movies: Okay, these movies are about a terminally ill old man trying to make self-destructive people appreciate life by making them dive into pits of needles and saw off their own limbs in do-or-die situations. Good premise, kind of reminds me of the movie Se7en, sans Morgan Freeman. But after the first 2 Saw films, it just got repetitive. Remember those Goosebumps books that RL Stine requires the reader to make choices and turn to the page if they picked such and such? That’s what the Saw films are like. We know that Jigsaw is trying to teach lessons and we don’t need to see similar endings play out 500 times. I understand that the point of them is to gross people out, but isn’t anyone slightly desensitized after the first few? The makers of Saw think they can just add Marky Mark into the film and make it brand new. Don’t insult our intelligence by suggesting that the same guy who starred in a movie about killer plants is going to make the movie better. Now maybe if they signed Morgan Freeman to the 6th or 7th or 8th installment we would have ourselves a good Halloween movie. Eh?


Weird weather: You leave the house for work in the morning and you’re freezing your bum off. You go out for lunch break with a giant sweatshirt on and sweat your balls (or non existent balls) off. What the hell mother nature?! Make up your mind! You aren’t sure what to complain about on social media updates with this kind of weather! Not to mention hearing old men foreshadow the approaching winter, “It’s gon’ be a long cold winter” with a forlorn look in their eyes, as though they are remembering back to Vietnam. Yeah dude, we might have to shovel a little. But that’s what grandchildren are for, so screw it.


Seasonal depression: Uh oh, better get your Prozac prescription. The happiest time of year for pharmaceutical companies is approaching. Maybe you shouldn’t have taken all those recreational drugs Flag Day-July 4th. Your serotonin left you faster than Butch left Babs Evans for the Hooters chick. You know what drains me of my serotonin? When the crunchy leaves get wet from rain. Hate that. Cue the sad circle guy Zoloft and wind-up depressed mom commercials. Who does depression hurt? Your cat who could probably care less if you come home or not. 


Darkness: Although we gain an hour of sleep, we also lose an hour of daylight. This really doesn’t mean much to me until I’m walking home from the T station after work. I always feel like someone’s going to try to mug me. I say “try” because that’s about all any potential mugger will be able to do. I will get down to business to defeat theHun before they can steal the 5 bucks in my wallet and beat up Michael Kors bag. FO REAL.


It’s not too late though guys. Summer is not over yet. It’s not over until Sully’s says it’s over…

				
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