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Trashy Status of the Day (5/10/13)

10 May

Rude hoes need lovin’, too!

Oh, and God help this baby if it is a female. If my mom ever referred to me as a “hoe”, especially when I was just a fetus, I would surely develop some sort of a complex.

maytrashmaytrash2If you have any trashy statuses you’d like to share, send a screen shot to!

What’s Going On?!

3 May

First young girls defend Chris Brown after beating the absolute shit out of Rihanna:

cbcb2cb3And now this…


I was really torn about whether I should post that video or not, because obviously this girl just wants hits on her Youtube channel, but I think it’s important that we see what is going on right now. Society has a serious problem on it’s hands. Either young girls REALLY have internalized this kind of behavior as acceptable, or young girls don’t understand that what they the post on the internet is there forever. OR, a likely scenario is that it’s both. And it’s no longer just young girls defending celebrities who beat their girlfriends because “she provoked it”. It’s now young girls defending murderers – not just any murderers, terrorists- because they are “hot”. I actually was so disturbed by this video that I commented on it without bashing her, because bashing her would be counterproductive…and I assume she’s MUCH younger than me based on her naivety alone. First comment on Youtube I’ve ever posted, and I wasn’t expecting a response because at this point the video had gone viral. Surprisingly, she replied to me:

And after about 100 people commenting that she could be putting her future/career at risk by posting this video, her response was:

bb4In between horrified reactions were the few girls and guys chiming in to defend her that suspect #2 is indeed hot. I think we’ve all heard of those women who fall in love with criminals, and write to them while they are in prison. I’ve always kind of brushed this off as extremely poor self esteem. But for girls who are in their early-late teens to be posting videos for the entire world to see, I don’t know how we got here. The shitty TV we watch can’t be the only factor here. I watch shitty TV shows and I think this is disgusting. Maybe it’s always been here, we just didn’t have the internet as a platform for those who express these beliefs to shout them out. I mean, we all know that their are these crazies in the world who think like this. I guess the world we live in now just let’s these people showcase their sympathy for the devil. Having empathy is one thing. But why have empathy for someone who has no regard for human life? Who thinks it’s okay to murder an 8 year old who is innocently watching a marathon with his family? Why not express empathy towards the 8 year old and his family and for the hundreds of other victims and their families? And when did it become common for anyone to upload videos about how good looking a killer is? Because this girl isn’t the only one posting these videos. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s disgusting. And it’s depressing that not everyone sees it that way.

I know it’s not good to focus on the bad that comes out of something that is already so horrible, but I just felt like I’d feel a little better if I ranted. End rant.


Boston <3

16 Apr


Get Drunk On A Roof Deck Weather

8 Apr


It’s that time of year again. You know, that time of year that we get one or two warm days a week so we transform into full blown alcoholics who want to day drink on roof decks, patios, and all other outdoor surfaces. It’s a hard time of year for us full time 9-5 schmucks. All day long we sit here at our jobs, fucking around on the internet pretending we are important while behind our screen shields our Facebooks are up so we can enviously creep on those who work nights and get to enjoy the weather. We vow that we will call out sick the next time weather permits for the Marina, but deep down inside, we know we are pussies who won’t call out sick based on the fear that one of our ass-hat friends will check us in to Port 305 for all of our coworkers to see. So instead we will put up passive aggressive statuses that insinuate that everyone who is basking in the sun is somehow mooching off the government and should focus on getting a job like the rest of us professionals. Then we will go on our lunch breaks and search for maxi dresses online for us to not wear this summer because maxi dresses aren’t appropriate for the office, because we know that’s where will will spend 90% of our Summer, and we don’t have casual Fridays at our office. Maybe we will walk downtown for an hour on lunch, stop in at H&M and purchase a floppy hat or straw fedora to make ourselves feel better. But probably not, because an object sitting on our heads will only serve to remind us that even when we are off on the weekend, it will probably be overcast. That fedora will just sit on the back speaker in our cars, overheating in the sun while we slave away in an air conditioned building, sipping melted iced coffees. Life is hard. My soul hurts.

Woah, that was depressing. Here’s hoping we get some beach weather Saturdays in this year so I never write something so bitter again. Until then, feel free to choke on your week day Bloody Mary. Jerk.

Your Life Would Make A Shitty Reality Show

25 Mar

I find it kind of smug when ordinary people say that their lives would make a good reality show. It takes a lot to make a reality show good enough to watch, what makes people think that they could be some break out star because something ordinary happens to them? People are all like, “Pretty sure I just got out of getting a ticket because the cop saw my cleavage! I swear I could have my own TV show!” or “Ate a box of Caramel Delights to the dome, couldn’t make this stuff up! Need my own show!” or “The kids are being wild today!!! Three wild and crazy boys under the age of 8 running around with water guns!!!! We could have a show on TLC!!!!”. Um, no. Your life is boring/sounds like hell on earth, and your show would be boring. And if your life isn’t boring, you should at least know that no one gives a shit about your kids. Didn’t you catch that “spontaneous” meatball fight on Southie Rules? Your show would be about as funny as that scene. Besides being wicked at catching tuna, the key ingredient to a solid reality show is the cast’s ability to literally not give one fuck. You need to be willing to be seen as the bad guy. You need to talk about bodily functions in front of a national audience that includes both your grandmothers and not give a fuck. You need to be willing to make yourself into a Heidi Montag-esque creature then disown your mom in front of a country. You need to be willing to act like a total trash bag hick from West Virginia, banging dudes on a friend’s bed in front of an MTV crew and be totally nonchalant about it. And you need an entire group of friends who give even less of a fuck. If you aren’t willing to get arrested, bullied, degraded, f*cked, or at least fake these events to the point that you’re in USWeekly, then your show would suck. Sorry that you got locked out of your apartment like everyone else in the world has done at some point or sorry you peed the bed this weekend and had a friend tape it in an attempt at getting on The Bad Girls Club, but Snookie and JWoww pee inside local establishments behind the bar in front of a camera. You’re not outrageous, you’re just a slob and no one is going to give you a show. I mean, you have the right to know. Carry on.

Love Always,

Simon Cowell

…Now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure I said out loud to my friends: “We would have a pretty good reality show, you guys!” over lunch this weekend. There ARE exceptions (Mtv: call me, maybe?).


Youtube: Fueling Quincy Girls Stereotypes.

15 Mar


After watching that Quincy girls fight video that made it to Barstool Sports yesterday, when the vomiting feeling had passed, I started thinking about how lucky I am that this whole Youtube craze wasn’t big when I was in high school. I think it existed, but it wasn’t nearly as big as it is now. Sounds bad that I really don’t know if it existed or not but I could have given a fuck less about social media/the internet when I was out with friends back then. I cringe when I think that there could have been video evidence of me rocking awkward bangs, shelltoes with jeans and dress shirts, 40 ounce in hand because I thought it was gangster (by gangster I mean I quit my job at Stop and Shop and couldn’t afford much else). I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a video of myself up Forbes Hill in a full on brawl with like 10 randoms, Boston accent screaming every obscenity in the book. My graduating class called that “Powderpuff” and we legitimized it with jerseys.

But now, people take videos of EVERYTHING. I’m guilty of it myself, I have 2 Quincy parking lot fight videos on my phone as I type. But would I post them? No. Because when you post it, the trashy comes out in all parties involved a la the comments section of my Facebook page. And once things take a turn for the trashy, I delete delete delete! Which is exactly what happened yesterday when I posted the Quincy girl fight video. The comments section blows up with personal attacks on people who know the girls in the video and people who commented on the video, easily setting things up for a Quincy girls fight part two video. Silly, really.

But like I said, from 2001-2005 no one was posting everything they see to Youtube and the world was a better place. I watched that Lifetime movie (Girl Fight I think it’s called) last Saturday that is based on real life. Corny as shit of course, it’s a Lifetime movie, but it’s about a gang of girls that get pissed at this chick for “talking crap on Facebook”, so they invite her over, beat her til she passes out, and record the entire thing. First off, that’s gross in general. Second off, good idea recording it and incriminating yourselves. See? We really CAN learn something from Lifetime movies and not just laugh at them like I did through the duration of that one when Fred Savage kills DJ Tanner. An instant classic.

But enough tangents! Youtube is obviously here to stay for awhile, so maybe we should enact a Quincy girl ban on it because after yesterday’s fiasco, I’m unsure SOME of us can handle it. OR we could just make those who partake in such behavior vow to stop it. At the very least stop doing it in Wollaston. Take that shit to the Point.

Off The Wagon…

14 Mar

So this happened on the way to work this morning:

redbullGod grant me the serenity to accept that I should only drink a 8 ounce sugar free Red Bull, the courage to only do so 1-3 times a week, and the wisdom to not punch a kitten when I’m withdrawing.






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