Okay, so here I am mid-summer, and I’m going out more often and seeing guys from Quincy more often. I know, I know, not another Quincy blog. I hate to do it. But I’ve been seeing them 24/7. And it got me thinking how much shit I left out in my Quincy Boys blog back in November. That last blog was true of all South Shore guys, maybe even North Shore guys, too, only add in some Affliction shirts. There are so many city-wide traits and mannerisms that they display that are so obvious when you’ve been exposed to them your entire fucking life. Let’s see if you agree with me…
Heavier Boston accents than guys who are actually FROM Boston: What the fuck is up with their accents? I get it, you’re OFD (originally from Dorchester for all you dumb-dumbs out there). But you only lived in Neponset until you were 6 and the way that you scream “HEY MAHHHHHH!” when beckoning your mother could frighten Chuck Norris. And I bet if these bro’s met John Quincy Adams himself that they would try to convince the dude that he is pronouncing his own last name wrong. “Khed, it’s fahkin’ QuinZEE you fahkin loooozaaaah!”. I mean, who do you think you are guys? Mahhhky-Mahhhk and the entire cast of The Departed? Babs Evans?! They think us Quincy girls are all whores: They complain about it ALL THE TIME. Literally, I’ve gotten numerous emails, messages, comments, etc. asking me to do a blog about how Quincy girls are whores. Well, um…I’m from Quincy. I’m a girl. And I’m not a whore. If we are all whores then why do you loOoOoOoOve us so much? Huh?! If you love us so much why don’t you just marry us?! Wait a minute…YOU DO! Please, you Quincy guys call us whores and then go to Jared, you passive aggressive bastards. It’s a love/hate relationship. (I get it. I’ve met a lot of whores around here, but aren’t they everywhere?).
…and that Quincy girls are batshit insane: Yeah, they think us Quincy girls are crazy, too. To each their own, but I have to admit some truth to this.
Every group of them has a “Sully”, “Okie”, “Dunnie”, ‘Jimma” (or “Jibba”) or….a “Pickle”: I guess this is true of Southie and other Irish obsessed cities all over the place and I’m cool with it. But where does “Pickle” come into this? I feel like I’ve heard of 75 different “Pickles” in this city. It’s probably my favorite nickname. The rest are just last names cut short or random names that end in an “A”. But “Pickle” suggests a funny story behind the name. I would like one of my guy friends to puke all over a hot girl or something so we can start calling him “Pickle”. I don’t think any of my guy friends will comply, though. Whatever. Let’s talk about something insanely obnoxious. I met someone about a year ago who made up his own fucking nickname. As if making up your own nickname isn’t awful enough, this kid gave himself the nickname “Ace”. And Ace, wherever you may be, you sir, are a TOOL who should probably find a “Gary” to be friends with so you can be the Ambiguously Gay Due for Halloween. You can’t just nickname yourself, it’s not right.
No matter what part of Quincy they are from, they have a gang sign and/or symbol/tag: A gang sign. Because they are so fucking hardcore. And if they hung out somewhere that didn’t have at least a symbol of their hangout passed down from older generations, they created them (ahem, Beechwood in their declaration of independence from the Wollaston flatlands). And usually there was a shamrock found graffiti’ed near that tag. As for the gang signs, I have to say that hands down, Squantum had the coolest sign to throw up. West Quincy and Wollaston were so easy and similar that it felt like no feat to throw one of them up. Like, couldn’t they have made one that spelled out something? Like the Bloods gang sign, for example? And if they have no tag, no gang sign, then they are probably a hipster.
They get their fades from Sean’s: Sean the barber. Pretty sure every guy in Quincy has a bromance with him. Some go to Gino’s. But if a regular from Sean’s goes to Gino’s because Sean’s is closed, or vice versa, they get distraught. Saw this exact situation go down on the status the other day of a Quincy boy. (My friends go to Quincy Cuts now, Eric is the man.)
They all know Chet: He reps West Quincy, but everyone in Quincy (girls and guys) knows Chet. Before I knew him, I knew who he was because he sat on a porch across the street from my parent’s house in Wollaston. So yeah, everyone, at least in my generation, knows Chet. If you are someone who doesn’t know Chet, then you the fuck are you? As a matter of fact, the status I saw about Sean’s was Chet’s status. I was at a family party once and my aunt from Milton asked me if I knew Chet. Why? I don’t even fucking know! But everyone who’s anyone knows who Chet is. True story.
They will sport jorts and sneakers on the beach: Really guys?! Mandals make me laugh sometimes because feet skeeve me out. But it’s not acceptable to wear sneakers on the beach. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: burn the jorts, boys. Who do you think you are, Chris Brown? (he was the only dickhead wearing sneakers on the sand that Google image pulled up. And I guess he isn’t technically even wearing them in that picture, but he’s a dickhead nonetheless).
Gronk?: They would.
Their “fancy” dress attire: …is a Polo shirt. Going somewhere nice? Alba roofdeck for your anniversary? Take off that Montclair stickball T-shirt, pal! Quincy boys Polo shirt it the fuck up. Besides, it matches their Polo hat and white sneaks. Swag.
So yeah, am I right or am I right? And honestly, I think I just wanted an excuse to put Gronk’s cover in a blog.