Time to expand things!
Bringing my friend Elyse on board as a writer so that BecauseMollySaidSo.com can deliver more content to you. She’s hilarious and doesn’t give a fuck so I am pretty excited. THAT is what’s up. I will be giving her a subcategory in the drop down box on the website.
I am also looking for:
- Someone who knows fashion/hair and can put a sentence together. Grammar isn’t too big of a deal, I’ll edit everything and even if I miss some errors, it’s whatever. Tutorial videos on Youtube and wit are a huge plus. Said girl needs to have thick skin and not cry about it when trolls troll. She also needs to be a girl with a passion for shit like this and an understanding that this is a project that may have zero (at most very little) financial gain for a very long time (if ever), as it takes time and insane patience to build an audience.
- Someone who is funny, has time to write 4-5 blog entries (about 2-3 paragraphs) per week – blogs pertaining to current events, random stories, rants/raves, etc. Someone who gives no fucks, isn’t afraid to put themselves out there. Is active on social media websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Same deal as position above about having a passion for this shit and knowing it is a project that may have zero financial gain.
- Minimum requirements for both: Undying loyalty, lover of wine, knows (at least) how to turn on a computer, as well as having disdain for the celebrities that I hate.
Serious inquiries email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I was busy checking my old email account because changing email accounts is a pain in the balls, and I was pleased to discover that JuicyFruit45 is back, and she’s just as angry as she was one month ago. Only this time her name is Vanessa (no idea). I’m a little sad that she didn’t take my advice and switch to a more resume friendly email address, but to each their own, I guess. Anyways, whether you lost your flavor a month ago or not, preach on JuicyFruit45!
Writing a blog about illegal activities you participate in sounds like a great resolution if you want to go to jail in 2013! Don’t forget to write about that time you shoplifted either! That will really bring the LOL’s to your blog!
To share trashy Facebook statuses that you capture, send screenshots to email@example.com!
There is nothing I love more than reading the threads under Facebook statuses that ask for rides/drugs. Well, there is one thing I love more, and that’s searching Facebook for freshly arrested morons that I read about on PatriotLedger.com. The ideal thing to find is a status from the night of their arrest that says “FML” or something. Love it. White trash never fails to disappoint: they keep their Facebook profiles public and write ALL of their business on social media. Like I said though, it’s a close second when I see people ask for rides/drugs via a status update. Like, do you have no shame asking an acquaintance for a ride to the courthouse? Take a fucking taxi. I guess it’s naive of me to think that they have the money for a taxi. In that case, take the bus. It’s fitting. And the drugs status are even better. Sometimes I will log in and strike gold on my newsfeed when I read a status that asks if anyone can get any percocets. But that’s just wishful thinking. Most of the time I just see a few “Anyone got any buddha? Hit me up!”. The responses are sometimes hilarious. Concerned family members telling their little cherubs that they are running with the wrong crowd. People asking if they should really be putting their “business” on Facebook like that. It kills me. I hope people who ask these kinds of questions on social media are reading this right now and feel like total assholes. Stop smoking, and I don’t usually tell potheads to stop smoking, but for these people I will make a special exception because the last thing they need is to lose more brain cells. I pray to Tupac that these people who ask for a drug connect online aren’t REALLY that stupid. That maybe they are just seeking some attention or something. Perhaps they want to be internet cool? Perhaps this is just the generation of fucking retards who think its acceptable and smart to ask for drugs on the same network that their parents are logged into. I hope these people fall for those random faux friend requests of “real people” they’ve never heard of who are their age, from their hometown, and have 78 mutual friends and a photo album of 3-4 super generic/obscure pictures of groups of girls that can be found if you Google “stock images of group of teenagers”. For example:
Guess what smartypants? Those are either cops or your ex boyfriend’s new/batshit crazy girlfriend who wants to creep. Don’t believe me? Think you are just getting hit on? Well go to that person’s Facebook and check the About Me/quotes. I promise you that their info is filled with references to typical slang and hangout spots in your city or town, such as “My hobbies are hangin at the rock and chillin’ with my guuurrrllls!” And whether this strange friend request is 5-0 or the crazy new girlfriend, your status updates requesting someone to inbox you where the good sticky icky is doesn’t make it look like you’re a successful young professional with a promising life ahead of you. And you brag about your street smarts? Get it together.