Because Molly Said So

This blog will probably offend some overly sensitive idiots out there, but screw it. I’m getting sick of all this talk of bullying. Like, I’ve literally seen billboards about the dangers of bullying. I’m not condoning bullying but, are you kidding me?! Who the F wasn’t bullied at some point in their life?! Some chick called me a dumb cracka ass bitch in the Atrium at North once. Just yesterday on Twitter someone tweeted me that she was gonna kill Channing Tatum because that’s all a white bitch like me lives for (I mean, he’s alright but I live for Leo and Ryan Gosling).  Everyone has been bullied! We don’t need a billboard to tell us that it’s bad. Obviously it’s bad. But it still happens. There is no way that a stupid billboard or an anti-bullying commercial is going to prevent bullying nationwide, the only thing those do is annoy me almost to the point that the Kars 4 Kids jingle annoys me. Kids are kids, they are going to be bullies or get bullied, sometimes both. And adults are assholes, so sometimes we get bullied. How about we teach our kids to be kind people, while also teaching them to stick up for themselves in non-violent ways. I’ve always been in favor of the saying “an eye for an eye”, but now I’m hearing that it makes the whole world blind, so I guess just telling someone to back off should be enough.

Here are some things about bullying to ponder that you might find to be complete bullshit, but I’m going to write them anyways. Remember that saying “only the fittest survive?” Isn’t that true of humans and everything we do to “get by”? If you aren’t fit physically, someone who is will beat you out somehow, and I don’t mean kill you. They’ll probably just be healthier than you, or beat you up if they bully you. If you aren’t fit mentally, you’ll also be screwed. You’ve gotta toughen up mentally to survive. And I don’t even mean “survive” as in “live”, I mean it as in getting through life without being a hot mess all the time. If someone bullies you, tell them to shut the F up. If someone hits you, get out of the situation somehow. Physical violence is usually the point at which people tell you to tell someone (a grown up, a teacher, whoever). Go for it, but it might not resolve anything. It might just make everything worse, because then you’re known as the snitch. I mean, obviously if you get the shit kicked out of you, you should let someone know. But if someone pushes you around, instead of running to the teacher or home to mama, just look this sadist square in the face and tell them to stay the F away from you. Then lift some weights for a few months. Gain some respect.

Consider this shit: isn’t it extremely difficult to figure out if someone is a good guy or a bad guy? Sure is. Bullying brings out a lot about a person. Like, maybe the bully that bullies you is insecure and gets bullied at home, so he/she comes to school and gives you an Awful Waffle every morning before History class. Some people mask their own problems by creating more problems. Maybe they are a bad person, maybe they aren’t. But either way, at least we know where we stand with a bully. We know that we don’t want to hangout with an asshole like that (unless you are a sadist, in which case maybe you get off to surrounding yourself with other sadists). My point is, if someone is an asshole, it’s easier to figure it out up front, instead of having to get to know the hard way. Am I right?

We hear all this crap about “BE YOURSELF!” and what not. I agree with that. Be yourself, don’t be a weirdo who copies other people and pretends to be someone who they aren’t. BUT, I’ve noticed a common denominator of people who are all over TV  on talks  shows talking about how they are victims of bullying. That common factor is that these victims seem like they can’t figure out how to be tactfully social in a normal way. Aside from people who might have learning disabilities or younger kids who don’t know better, there are ways around this. Look around you, study people and how they behave. Don’t be that asshole who raises your hand to ask an obnoxious question with 10 seconds left on the clock before the bell rings. Perhaps spare your classmates by asking this question after class. Don’t kiss ass, no one likes a kiss ass. If that’s your personality, well, this is a rare instance that I’d advise you to change, because guess what?

1. No one likes a kiss ass.

2. No one likes a tattle tale.

3. No one likes a crybaby.

4. No one likes an Indian giver.

5. No one likes a one upper.

6. No one likes a show-off.

If you are someone who wants to be a kiss ass, tattle tale, one upper then that’s fine. But life won’t be kind in return because life isn’t fair. Learn how to socialize. Teach your kids how to socialize. Be kind and your kids will see that. Right? You don’t need to have kids to know that teaching by example will help your kids to be better people. Whatever you do, don’t preach about anti-bullying crap on a stupid billboard because it’s as big of  a waste of advertising space as the Simba/Mufasa billboard that says “Take time to be a dad today!” (be a fucking dad anyways! A billboard doesn’t cure deadbeat syndrome!). Don’t complain that kids can’t get away from the teasing because they get home from school and then go on Facebook. Kids shouldn’t even be on Facebook, and teenagers should be monitored to an extent. If there are issues that are too much to handle, tell your kid to tell someone. But not in a way that makes them a fuckin’ fink! Choose battles and grow some balls! Being a giant pussbag won’t get anyone anywhere. This is life we are living, and bitching and tattling only makes it difficult for these “victims” later on. Stop being a victim and stick up for yourself.

Woah. This makes me sound super insensitive. I’m not. I just think people need to toughen up because bullies are always going to be around and they are probably always going to be assholes. On that note:

Tags: anti bullying, anti bullying campaign, celebrities, drama, entertainment, politics, society